Dear Eric: Recently, it was by my husband’s family to host a gathering of some relatives outside the city. We have a better entertainment house. Everyone brought a side dish or a candy. I usually have at least one gathering for a year for his family. I am happy to do this. We have a nice dining room, but our table will not work with the number of people attending. I prepared a smaller table in the living room, next to our dining room. While people lined up to fill their paintings, I heard some turmoil, entered the dining room, and saw my sister in my mother -in -law carrying additional chairs and settings on the dining room table. They decided that it would be better if we all sit together. We were like sardines. The wine was leaked at the table of my grandmother.
After dinner, I suggested that we all go to the family room to chat, and that we will get a candy shortly after that. I was arranging additional chairs in the family room when I looked up and saw my brother in a son -in -law bringing all sweets to the kitchen table. I was told that we will eat candy immediately. Everyone was trying to balance their candy plates on their rolls, when my 8 -year -old daughter dropped a full piece of chocolate cake on the carpet.
While we were cleaning my husband, he mentioned that he believed that his sisters were outside the line. They were always “mystery”, but I either made the light from it or ignored it. For some reason this really bothered me. Am I wrong to get angry?
– An unhappy host
Dear host: Wine on inheritance and cakes on the carpet? I will also be upset. It may be great when guests make themselves at home, but not everyone runs their home in the same way.
Let’s say they saw themselves as useful, “many hands make light work.” Work is only light if the numerous hands work together. It seems that your sisters need some kind but strong direction-“No, dessert will not work in the family room. Let’s stick to my plan.”
Hosting can be a complex and tiring task, even when it is done with pleasure. You and your husband should discuss how you want to deal with “assumptions” in the future. You may find that your home is always not available. Or, if you are hosting again, he may be the sister of the sister, and thus free you to enjoy your hard work.
Dear Eric: This is in reference to the grandmother, which was given a strict list of acceptable gifts for her grandson, but she wanted to buy other things. (“Bad grandfather”).
What about contributing to the college of her granddaughter’s college?
Whenever there is a gift you want to buy, put some of what may cost him to facilitate the grandson of the grandson’s future dreams. It can even call it a graphic box if it wants to be attributed.
Or a gift of time: it can be simple like a trip to the field, singing songs while pushing fluctuations, adventure to the zoo or local museums (Dinosaurs! Airplanes!) Or teaching skills (music, knitting, Chourtive, or cooking together). Winning everyone: breathing time for busy parents, joint experiences of the grandson and grandmother, and happy memories for everyone.
I try to transfer those happy memories with my granddaughter. Who needs more things?
– Happy Grammy
Dear Grammy: I love these suggestions. Gifts is a love of love and love can come in many forms. Some readers wrote in a suggestion that the grandmother buys what you want and let the chips fall where it may. This is also an option. But I believe that a little creativity can produce greater memories and keep everyone happy.
Dear Eric: I appreciate your response to a 47 -year -old woman as she is fighting a final disease that was very lonely (“Need Company”). One of the additional suggestions is to join a religious society, where you may find comfort, guidance and fellowship. We attend our services in our temple almost every week and find everything in our temple community. We mention people at the end of our service who may face a health problem every week through Misheberch Prayer (Prayer for the Patients). If there is nothing else, this reminds us of the people we care about and who can use support or comfort. LW may also benefit from this and you may make a new friend or two.
– The funeral is found
Dear condolences: Societies can be faith and community groups other than the wonderful resources of support, encouragement and companionship. They are not for everyone, of course, but if the author of the message feels calling for a specific faith or imitation, then this is a great choice.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas on Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Instagram And registration in the weekly newsletter in RECTHOMAS.COM))
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