Dear Eric: My 31 -year -old son, still lives at home. He is a great and not hostile to society. It has a job that does not pay much. I want him to start his life. Pay it for a better job so that he can withstand the costs of living alone, but it is very resistant to my calls.
His mother and I am so worried that he is missing life. I don’t want to expel it from the house. My father did this to my brothers and was ugly and attached his relationship with his children. I know that I am very soft on it, and I have encrypted it. My wife and I blame ourselves, which we know are not healthy. What can I and his mother do?
Father anxiety
Dear Father: I am happy that you choose a different way from your father’s tactics. There is a lot of middle ground between throwing an adult child outside and encryption. By showing sympathy and sympathy for your son, you have prepared yourself to be a reliable resource and to enhance the foundation in your relationship, which is love.
The decisions that your son make about his life or your wife may not be preferred. Part of paternity and motherhood, especially parents of adults, is to allow your child to make his own mistakes at times. And most importantly, allowing them to learn from them. But because under your roof and because you care, it is right to say something.
Part of it can be a financial conversation. Does the rent pay or contribute to the family expenses in another way? If not, he must, as another adult at home and as a person who may be able to use some budget practices. Make a decision on a fair average and present it to him.
You can also search the reason behind its resistance to a better job. You may feel that you are eaten; Perhaps he feels trapped in his manufacture. Maybe he simply loves his job. Learn if you can have a conversation about what his desires are in his life without putting your desires on his life. This may give you an insight into his thinking and help you find another way. Perhaps the task is not the real problem nor the real solution at the present time.
In addition, understanding where it will help you and your wife to stop blaming yourselves. Because this is not your mistake. We do not make bad options because we are very loved. We make options because of the options that we think we have and the interior blocks we need to overcome. You can help him make better options by closing some options, not completely closing the door.
Dear Eric: I have a beautiful hairdresser who colored my hair and cut my hair for many years. Until recently, I was satisfied with her work, but I haven’t liked discounts over the past times. While she was on vacation, I tried another hairdresser recommended by a friend, and I really liked the results.
The easy solution is not to return and not to say anything. However, I think I owe it with respect and appreciation more than just fixing it. However, if she talked to her about the change to a new place, then I know that she will be hurt because she told me about another customer who left after a long period of her client and how she felt confused with the reason. Should I open personally, with or without cookies, write a letter or stop saying anything for a period of time until I am sure that the new man will work?
Hair mode
Dear position: If you are committed to the new hair pen, the personal disintegration is the gentle thing to do. Cookies are optional but favorite. However, I wonder if you can give your first designer some constructive comments, it may help her get the results you are looking for. You may have put in her ways or got a specific idea about your hair, which no longer works for you anymore.
As with any relationship, it is sometimes useful to log in and ensure that both parties are still aligning. Given that it has cut your hair for years, I assume this is not a problem with skills. So, if you think it is He can Do that but did not do so in the past twice, give it the benefit of the conversation. You may enter before time to see speaking and testing water. I will not advance “seeing this style that someone else has gave? That’s what I want.” But a friendly conversation based on your long relationship can make you look.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas on Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Instagram And registration in the weekly newsletter in RECTHOMAS.COM))
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