It was news that none of us expected, but now it all makes sense. Princess Catherine, or as we still fondly refer to her, Kate, has been diagnosed with cancer. When she bravely announced her diagnosis and continued chemotherapy, she thanked everyone for their concern and then politely asked to be left to deal with what must have been a very scary time alone with her three young children. I couldn’t help but shed tears over the video that clearly showed not only a princess, but a mother, explaining the worst news you can imagine.
I have two young children, and one of my biggest fears is being taken away from them. It’s a dark thought that creeps into my mind every now and then, or appears as a nagging voice in the back of my mind every time we talk about their future or getting older. This year my partner lost a very close friend suddenly, and every time we think of his three children, we can feel our throats tightening. “I can’t imagine having to deal with all these emotions along with completely unproven (and more ridiculous than ever) social media conspiracies that have included divorce, rehab and even butt augmentation surgery, with more and more people gradually jumping on the bandwagon.” Where’s Kate?
When I saw that Mother’s Day photo, it made me think about how women are always expected to be seen no matter the circumstances. My mind turned to the times I was told “You look good” when I was going through personal hell. The photo released by Kensington Palace on Mother’s Day, which was widely criticized for photo editing, is now even more poignant as it shows Princess Catherine surrounded by her three animated children to mark the occasion. In essence it was not unusual, and after a quick check of the official joint account of Princeandprincessofwales, with his 15.2 million followers, the photo was very similar to the one posted last year to mark the day. However, now it has a completely different meaning. I hang my head in collective shame that we cannot respect her desire to remain out of the public eye. We’ve been told that for health reasons Kate will be taking a break from all public services and appearances until Easter. We haven’t even reached Easter yet, but here we are. A woman was forced to tell the truth because TikTok and other social media sites wouldn’t allow it.
I understand people were worried, but in hindsight, can’t we accept that something was wrong? Does it really matter what’s wrong with her? She told her “job” (yes, her role in the royal family is a job) that she wouldn’t be there until the end of March, which we now know was signed off on by a medical team, so why was that to anyone? a job? More importantly, why did the palace rise to conspiracy theories on social media? I can’t help but think that the Queen, who famously said: “Never complain, never explain,” would not be amused when her grandson and his family were put through unimaginable agony and anxiety, forced to speak out before they could. Ready to do it.
When I look at this video, I see not only a generous princess, but a mother with a deep need to prove that she is still a “good mother” despite her struggles. I see a woman trying to prove to the world that she is present, and has not given up on her family or her duties, even in difficult times. When you become a mother, you have an overwhelming feeling that you need to prove how successful you are. I remember waking up and getting dressed three days after my first emergency C-section to go to my local Starbucks, just to prove that I was taking it all in my stride. I attended my aunt’s 50th birthday the week after my second baby, where I felt so impressed that I wasn’t in bed, and people even commented that their “relative” was struggling to even get out of bed for two weeks postpartum. As if I won some kind of competition. “There’s a lot of pressure on moms to look good no matter what challenges they face,” says Susie Redding, certified psychologist and author of Rest to Reset. “We have grown up with a ‘circle of shame’ as women, and this permeates motherhood through the message of ‘bounce back’. It is the last thing we need in the midst of adversity, and are expected to cover it up with a smile. The combined outfit is then about being human!” she told POPSUGAR UK.
Hopefully this will end the social media uproar and allow Kate to get back to what she should be doing while focusing on her health and family.
Lauren Ezekiel is a contributing editor at POPSUGAR UK, where she writes about all things beauty and wellness. With a degree in journalism and 12 years’ experience as beauty editor at the leading Sunday supplement, she’s obsessed with skincare, haircare and make-up, and can often be found offering advice to innocent bystanders. Her work has been published in Grazia, OK, Health and Beauty, The Sun, ASDA, Dare and Metro.